As I was passing yet another autumn touched tree, I paused to inspect its beautiful branches. I felt something moving on my head, assuming it was probably another annoying bug landing on me. However, as I moved my hand across my head to get the pest off of me, a beautiful butterfly began fluttering around my head. It was spastic! It would come close to me and then I'd flinch and it would frantically flap its wings. It finally landed on a dead stump. I stepped closer to get a better look at it, and realized the poor little thing had a chunk taken out of its wing. Maybe it wasn't trying to be so spastic, but it was broken and needed a safe place to land. I turned away for just a moment, and when I turned back around, the butterfly was gone. Then out of the corner of my eye I noticed that it was on my shoulder! I tried not to move again, but for some reason I flinched again. I WAS SO FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF! It's a harmless butterfly, and I was somehow fearful of it. Again, it softly landed on the stump, slowly fluttering its broken wing. I felt so much compassion for this poor little, beautiful creature. I yearned for its trust! I wanted to badly for it to land on me once more, and I promised myself that this time I wouldn't scare it away. To my surprise, again it flew over towards me, for a while I stood there as it hovered over me, straining to stand still, yet failing every time it was close to landing. Why was I afraid? Why couldn't I embrace this beautiful creation? It landed on my head for a few moments before fluttering away, forever.
On the bike ride home I tried to figure this whole situation out. It took a while, but I think it finally hit me. I am extremely afraid of brokenness. I'm surrounded by it since we're all so broken in this world. However, I hate admitting that I'm broken myself. I guess in some, weird, way I felt as though I understood the butterfly. It was so broken and wanted so badly to rely on me for help and comfort, but I'm just a broken human, and nothing I do will ever fix that poor butterfly. I've spent so much of my life trying to rely on others for that same comfort but it never works. The only think that will ever fully satisfy me, that can heal me of my brokenness is a Savior.
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